Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Living in the Present

Me, Brady (3 mos) and Dave

I came across this video called "The Gift of an Ordinary Day" by Katrina Kenison. Her message really struck me. Her writing just resonated with me and made me take a look at the way I live.

Dave, Brady (20 mos) and I

It is so hard to not just live each day like a task. I wake up and just stumble through the routine of daily living. I find that more and more, by mid-day, I'm just wishing that it was time to go to bed. Life, as I am living it right now, just seems so exhausting. I get so caught up with packing snacks, carting the boys to their activities, grocery shopping and just the inevitable mile long list of errands that I have to mark off on my neatly scribed check lists. My life reel plays like a rerun episode. My life feels like it is in syndication.

Grandpa, Brady (2) and Dave at Disneyland 2010

But, what isn't so obvious, what isn't right in my face, is that I am letting the best memories of my life flash by me. I'm not savoring the mental snap shots I see when I close my eyes. I'm not allowing myself to enjoy my boys as much as I should. I'm not jumping for joy with each accomplishment that Brady and Wes make. I should be, but I'm not.

Me 36 weeks pregnant with Wes 

And, especially because Brady is now 5 (how did THAT happen?!), it is really hitting me - my life is flying by.

Newborn Weston (aka the flying baby who was born with one push)

Watching this video has given me a strong instant message. Treasure every day. Remember that everything is a phase, whether its the good times or the bad. Don't forget to laugh at the horrible experiences because they make for wonderfully funny stories when the kids bring home their first dates (you know - the blow outs, the puking in the bread aisle at Walmart, telling me "my pee-pee don't work" and saying, "I'm a sh*t bird, momma"). Cherish the great and funny moments. The first steps, the first I love you's and first days...all the "firsts" only happen once. It is SO TRUE what they say, it goes by like the blink of an eye.

Brady (2.5) and Weston (3 mos)
Oh, there are so many memories I wish I could relive just to enjoy it a little bit more! Like the kick of a baby inside my womb. The coo of a newborn. For the midnight nursing session that was so intimately beautiful. The beautiful eyes of my child that stared at me before drifting off to sleep. The look over the shoulder my brave son gave me on his first day of school. All of these were just fleeting moments I didn't allow myself to appreciate in the moment.

Weston (6 mos) and Brady (3)
So, now I am trying my hardest to remember to embrace and enjoy these moments as they happen. I'm trying so hard to wake up and be thankful for my ordinary days, the ones that I too often take for granted. I'm striving to start each day with a cheerful smile, a slower pace and a hug. I'm tasking myself with ending each day with a "I'm so proud of you bud" and about 5 minutes just holding each of my boys, talking about what they want to do the next day.

Biking around Coronado
And, while I know how important it is to cherish this time with your kids, I am equally committed to making this same effort with my hubby. I try to start and end each day with a kiss and a squeeze of the hand. I make an effort to talk about and reflect on what I enjoyed about the day and laugh about all the crappy things that went amiss in my daily adventures. I try to point out to him the small things that I used to miss, quietly guiding him by the small of his back to see some of the boys' hi-jinx going on in the other room. Because, not only are our boys turning into young men at a lightening speed, but I don't want to miss out on how we are growing, too!

The Albrights and Kate the Horse (2012)

Hopefully the video will resonate with you the same way it did with me. It's a change of perspective that I am really happy about!

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